crazyfoolstiney: (wolf)

Title: Eye See You… or How Hannibal Smith, Commander of the Supernatural Special Ops Unit, The Slay-Team Lost His Eye
Warning: None, except AU A-Team and straight up crackiness
Summary: Title says it all. :D
A/N: Set before The Slay-Team ongoing story, written for [ profile] stories_a_z also posted at [ profile] ateam_prompts.


Iraq – 2009

“I heard it was a Pooka, back in 2000. Only person to ever ride one of those things but it cost him his eye.”

Face took a swig of beer and rolled his eyes at the dark haired man, “Shut up, Ray. It wasn’t a Pooka. I was with Hannibal back then and he didn’t have an eye for years before that. I heard it was…”

“Bossman.” Murdock whispered and all the men around the campfire went silent as Hannibal approached.

“I’m turning in, gentlemen. Hope you enjoy these next couple days of R&R. When it’s over they’re sending us into a shit storm.”

“Night, Colonel.” They waved as he continued on to his tent.

B.A. waved a dismissive hand at the group. “Man, y’all all wrong. Stevens in Medical said her Captain was there when Boss came in after fighting a Minotaur.”

“B.A.! Minotaur? Really?” Murdock clucked and ignored B.A.’s scowl.

“What? You think your fool ass knows what happened?”

“I wanna know what happened with you and Stevens, Bosco.” Face elbowed the mechanic.

“Shut up, Pretty Boy. None ya’ damned business.” B.A. shoved Face back as the Lieutenant chuckled

“Actually, yes B.A. I know exactly what happened. Heard it straight from General Morrison.” Murdock stood up and cleared his throat.

“Man, you didn’t hear shit from the Old Man.” B.A. laughed.

“I did and it was…” The pilot paused… “An underwater wrestling match with the Loch Ness Monster.”

Groans from all around the campfire didn’t stop Murdock from continuing with his story, complete with dramatic interpretation.

“And just as he was about to escape, having beaten Nessie down, he got dragged back in the Loch and that’s when…”

“You set your dumbass on fire ‘cause you don’t stop flinging your crazy self around near the pit.” B.A. growled as Murdock rolled around on the ground.

“I heard he’s still got it under there.”

The soft voice quieted the group and everyone looked towards its owner. Even Murdock’s sandy, ash covered head quizzically popped up from in front of the fire pit.

The blond man leaned forward out of the shadows, taking in the stares of the now captivated audience. “Yep. Eye still there and nothing wrong with it. Wears the patch ‘cause it gets us all wondering what the hell happened. Does it ‘cause he likes freaking everyone out. Plus ya’ know the bad ass factor.”

“That’s bullshit, Baker. Hannibal doesn’t need a fake eye patch to prove he’s bad ass.” Face huffed, irritated at the insinuation.

“Suit yourself, Peck. You ever asked?” Baker shrugged.

“Well, no. Not really. I mean if he wanted to talk about it, he’d have told us.” Face shifted, momentarily flustered.

“So it very well could be there. Probably is.”

“If you don’t shut your mouth, Baker.” Face started to rise but B.A. grabbed his shirt.

“Sit down, fool.” B.A. grumbled.

“I’ll do it.” Murdock jumped to his feet and started dusting himself off, everyone suddenly very interested. “I’ll find out.”

“What? How the hell you gonna do that?” B.A. rolled his eyes.

“I got this.” Murdock grinned before bolting off towards the sleeping quarters.

“Oh, God. This isn’t going be good.” Face groaned as the rest of the men stared in slight confusion.

“Hell no it ain’t. But we ain’t stopping him.” B.A. laughed and tipped back his bottle.


Murdock was in his tent not two minutes before it looked like it’d been hit by a hurricane. Trunks and lockers open, clothes all over the place and one pilot digging under his bunk.

A ninja needed a stealthy uniform and a pair of cargo shorts and a Led Zeppelin shirt did not scream stealth. Well, maybe the Zeppelin shirt, it was black after all, but he needed pants.

A grin broke out on Murdock’s face as something caught his eye on the other bunk.

“Perfect!” He whooped as he reached out and grabbed Face’s black silk pajama bottoms, holding them up in victory. And since he was over here already he might as well look to see if there was anything else he’d need for his ninja arsenal, right?

Not only did ninjas need uniforms… they needed masks.

Murdock started digging through Face’s clothes till he pulled out one of the many scarves the conman wore on a regular basis. Not black but blue.

“Close enough for rock 'n' roll.” Murdock shrugged as he set to work.


Murdock slid into Hannibal’s tent, quiet as a…well, ninja. Crawling quickly across the floor, he stopped intermittently to listen to the deep breaths of sleep coming from the bed. He was halfway across the tent when a tug and a ripping sound as his knee caught on something had Hannibal shifting and mumbling.

Murdock started humming a lullaby as the Colonel settled back down.

Heart pounding in his chest Murdock closed the distance and peeked up at the sleeping figure. Hannibal was lying on his stomach, the left side of his face clearly visible, the right hidden by his arm.

“Of course.” Murdock huffed but oh, no he would not be defeated this easily.

He took a chance and leaned up to get a better look at the situation. Wondering if there was something he could do to get Hannibal to roll over.

Murdock sat back down and glanced under the bed. Maybe if he shimmied under and to the other side he could get a better view.

And as he started to do just that a hand grabbed his wrist tightly and had him squawking loudly as he was jerked up off the floor.

“Captain, what in the hell are you doing?” Hannibal barked in annoyance.

“Dryad, Colonel.” Murdock answered without even a millisecond of hesitation.

“Dryad?” Hannibal didn't lift his head from his pillow as he stared at Murdock.

“Yes, sir. Flew right in. Had to make sure you were safe. Dangerous buggers.”

“Murdock. We’re in the middle of the desert, there are no Dryads. And even if there were they’re not dang…” Hannibal shifted and Murdock watched with breath held, before the Colonel asked, “Is that one of Face’s scarves you’ve cut eye holes into?”

Hannibal lifted his head a bit and Murdock craned his neck as discreetly as possible to try and get a better look at the right side of Hannibal’s face.

“I didn’t want it to be able to identify me if it got away, sir.”

Hannibal let go of Murdock as he moved to sit up and noticed the excited look on the pilot’s features, followed closely by disappointment.

“What? Were you looking at this?” Hannibal pointed at his eye patch, still firmly in place even as he slept.

“That, sir? Pshaw. No.” Murdock’s mouth said one thing but his head nodded up and down.

“I wondered when one of you boys would ask.” Hannibal reached for the eye patch as Murdock gazed in awe.


“You find out anything?” Face stared at Murdock, who was pale and stumbling as he came back to the fire pit where everyone besides Face and B.A. had taken their leave.

Murdock shook his head in the affirmative.

“What was it, fool?” B.A. growled impatiently.

“I saw…” Murdock started to answer as he pulled the scarf off his head but then Face made a gargled choking sound.

“MURDOCK! That is not what I think it is! Please, please tell that you did not cut up my $250 Fendi scarf.”

Face marched over and snatched the scarf out of Murdock’s hands. His eyes narrowed as he took in the rest of the pilot’s dirty outfit, especially the dusty and ripped at one knee pants.

B.A. stayed seated at a perfectly nice, safe distance from the pair but could still see the entire proceedings and let out a giggle when Face, hand over his namesake, emitted another strangled noise.

“My silk pajamas!? Oh, my God! Murdock!”

“Face, I needed ninja gear.” Murdock stated matter-of-factly, as if it was the most normal thing in the world to go around stealing people’s pants.

“Shoulda gone my damned self.” B.A. shook his head and realized it was going to be a long time before they found out what Murdock had seen, especially since the two fools had clearly forgotten the important information at hand as they continued their arguing


Pooka: A shape shifter that usually takes the form of a horse that gives anyone who gets on it a wild ride. Does not kill riders like the Kelpie.
Dryad: Tree nymph.

(deleted comment)

Date: 2012-04-22 08:50 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile]
:D He so so is. And um... your comment may or may not have sparked an idea for an incredibly horrible(DUUUUUURTY :P)5 + 1. Hehehe THANK YOU!!

Date: 2012-04-23 03:55 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile]
I read this. Twice. I might read it a third. I can't though because I'm laughing too hard. I love the "if it was the most normal thing in the world to go around stealing people’s pants" line! And the Fendi scarf, the theories behind what was going on! I love Ray's idea, about the Pooka (though I'm biased since one of my old cats was named Pooka!). And how no one actually knows. Oh man, I almost want to know what Murdock found out, but don't at the same time just because. This was brilliant, and I love ninja!Murdock! Even if he is not ninja enough to fool Hannibal Smith. xD

Brilliance, hon! I loved it!!! Can't wait to see more from this universe.

Date: 2012-04-23 04:09 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile]
>.< Thank you! The crack is so strong with this one but I had fun as I always do with this craziness.

Did you see the photo manip I did? My sister droolingly approved.

Again poor B.A. having to put up with Murdock's mess even from a distance.

I searched the term, "Expensive Man Scarf" to find that thing. Hehehe it's a pretty blue to match Facey's eyes and now it's got holes in it. :P

I put a lot into well MAYBE I'll let everyone know but then I thought about this movie I saw, the whole entire movie scared the living PEE outta me because the creature was unseen. Then at the end BAM they showed it and I was SOOOOOO disappointed that I lost that awesome sense of TERROR and it was replaced by WTF!??!

PLUS HELLO Drunk Unicorn Bar Fight. Bastards can't hold their Cuervo. :P

No one is ninja enough to fool Hannibal Smith... except whatever got his eye!! BWHAHAHAHA


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